There is something to be said for releasing and forgiving others and yourself.

I will be honest. I heard the word forgiveness today and I recoiled. The word forgiveness. Not a fan of the word.

But, to move forward, there is a part of us that does need to learn to forgive.

But before we talk about forgiveness, let’s look at other words that represent the word forgiveness.

Pardon, absolution, understanding, and tolerance. The word forgiveness represents the word mistake, mercy, pity, leniency, and indulgence.

To me, a lot of these words kind of have a negative connotation because they imply that you did something wrong, but in someone’s eyes, that is exactly what forgiveness represents.

You did something wrong and you need to apologize for it, either to the other person and ask them to accept that apology, which is out of your control, or you need to apologize to yourself for something you did wrong so that you can release and let go.

Even though I don’t like the word forgiveness, the concept behind it is very powerful. Our life as a whole makes for a lot of shit we have done and not all of it was good. But, our mind starts to make this judgment and builds it up. Over time it gets heavy. It’s a burden we ‘owe.”

It may be subconscious, but in our brain, we know that it’s there because we’re holding on to it.

Why do we hold on?

We don’t know how to let it go.
We feel we need punishment for what we did.
Sometimes we don’t know ‘why’ we are holding on so tight. Secondary Gain, maybe.

So I like to say, that instead of the word forgiveness, use the word release.

When something has happened in your past and you no longer can control that situation, you no longer have any ability to take care of that situation, instead of letting it fester, you can start to release it.

When you release it, you make room for better things.

You also lighten your load, because every time a loop is not completed it sticks around, looping again and again.

Letting go, or releasing, of knowing that you did what you could do, you did the best you could do allows you to release it from your mind.

You can release that and you can just say to yourself I release and let that go. But you have to believe it.

Visualize it fading away, visualize it being erased, visualize it being something that is over there, that happened in the past. It happened in a place that is not now, because our life is not linear.

We think that we move from point A to point B, but in our brain, we move back and forth. We move from the present state to the past, to the future.

We need to let shit go!

How is this lack of forgiveness Serving you? How is it helping you in your life right now? Because I guarantee you you’re probably not going to find an answer that is equivalent to letting it go now.

Having said all that, understand that. I know how hard it can be to forgive, and this can be for several reasons.

One, you have to look at a situation to forgive yourself, so you do have to go back there and analyze what happened.

Also, there can be this feeling of guilt and guilt is hard to release and, of course, regret, because Most of us are not intentionally out to hurt people or harm people or make situations bad, but life happens.

Forgiveness, especially of yourself, also allows you to release that burden. You’re releasing that pain and you’re also relieved by releasing the victimhood.

What do you do when you can’t let go?

Ask these two questions.

They’re simple but they’re very profound.

1. How do I benefit from holding on to what I may need to release?

2. What can I do right now to release and or forgive myself?

3. Lastly, Interject and sprinkle your life with mindfulness. It does make a difference. It helps to do what I like to call “space you out” which gives space between what you’re doing to settle yourself as you move through any kind of transition or change in your life.

Remember, you have a powerful mind and it can be changed to support the life you want to live. In the meantime, enjoy your day, one minute at a time.

Hugs, Cheryl