The five myths of happiness and how mindfulness can make you feel better.
What does happiness have to do with being mindful?
I want to talk about happiness and the five myths that many people believe.
Everyone’s definition of happiness is different.
We have a few beliefs that have been ingrained into our minds and these beliefs might not be all that true.
We all want to be happy.
As Americans in the second paragraph of the first article in the Declaration of Independence contain the phrase “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”.
So, we have this, right?
Happiness is what we all want. Ask anyone. I “just want to be happy” is what you hear.
There are almost 1 billion searches on Google for happiness and most of us are still not finding happiness. Why?
Here are the five myths
We will start with the first thing I talked about. The pursuit of happiness.
Happiness Myth One
Happiness is something you pursue.
When you pursue something, you are trying to chase it, catch it, and/or follow it.
Happiness is not outside of you.
It’s an internal state. The ONLY way you can be happy is to look within. Happiness is not the destination, being in the now is.
This ties into the “I’ll be happy when….
- I get a new job
- Lose 20 lbs
- Find my soulmate
Happiness Myth two
I can be happy all the time.
Happiness is not your natural state of being, Mindfulness is. Happiness is an emotion and our emotions change and fluctuate all the time.
The idea is learning to be okay with what is happening in the now; being aware of your emotions. When you are sad, angry, happy, frustrated.
These are normal states, and if you can embrace them as they are, you’ll have a much happier life. No pun intended.
Happiness Myth three
I can control how happy I will be.
You can control your outlook, actions, and how you respond to situations.
But our reactions to difficulties or situations can be multifaceted. Ignoring the bad, or uncomfortable and trying to put a happiness bandaid on top of it will cause more problems.
When we try to replace every emotion with happiness, we miss the richness of life. We are meant to feel and learn from our feelings and situations.
Happiness Myth four
Happiness means feeling good.
You must be overjoyed, excited, and jumping for joy to be happy.
Not everyone feels happiness the same way. Some people are bubby, but some people have a neutral stance.
We have this idea that to be happy you need to be outgoing, smiling, and overjoyed. Not necessarily.
Only you can explain your own happiness. Some people have stronger emotions than others, it doesn’t mean you’re not happy.
Happiness could be having a simple meaningful life.
Maybe your happiness is more expansive, or maybe it’s inward. You do you.
Happiness Myth Five
I’ve never been happy, so I can’t be happy now.
This comes down to understanding what happiness is for you.
- Is your expectation that happiness is created by what you have?
- Are you looking for it outside of yourself?
- What IS your happiness expectations?
Remember, looking at the past for what you should be now is comparing.
It’s like comparing looking at a car mirror to the past instead of what is in front of you in the windshield. You can miss so much looking in the wrong direction.
There is so much to say about happiness… I think the Dali Lama says it best…
“The key to human happiness lies within our own state of mind, and so too do the primary obstacles to that happiness.”
-Dalai Lama
Take a deep breath in and exhale
So, before I go, listen closely and remember this ONE thing.
Your future is a thought, your past has passed, but your now is always here.
Be mindful-one minute at a time.
Hugs, Cheryl
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